For family members and loved ones, looking after someone with palliative care needs or in the last weeks of life can be a great emotional and physical challenge.

They might feel angry, sad or guilty. They may also feel frightened about what will happen and about how they can support their loved one through this time. They may also have a sense of relief in some ways.

Support you can offer

Encourage family and loved ones to tell the person they are caring for that they are there to love and support them as much as you can.

Encourage them to look after themselves. Advise them that they are likely to cope better if they look after their physical health and take some time out from looking after the needs of the person with cancer. You can suggest ways to take an hour or two of time out:

• Go out and get some fresh air.
• Have something nice to eat and drink.
• Take a shower or a soak in the bath.
• Lie down.
• Meet or phone a friend to chat about how you feel.

Macmillan provide useful resources on looking after yourself as an informal carer

Supporting bereavement

Dying Matters provide a helpful practical guide on how to support people who have suffered a bereavement. The most important thing is not be awkward about it – we need to acknowledge the loss, rather than hoping that if we say nothing it will all go away.

Suggest other sources of support:

Carers UK provide practical advice on:

• How informal carers can support themselves.
• Getting support from other carers.
• Where to get financial help.
• Housing and equipment.
• Where to get help in their area.

Macmillan provide resources for informal carers on:

• Emotional wellbeing
• Relationships as an informal carer

Dying Matters provides useful practical information for family and informal carers about local end of life care, funeral planning and legal advice and bereavement support.