Self-Harm

Self-harm is a behaviour when someone hurts or damages their body. This can be done in a number of ways including: 

• Cutting
• Hitting or bruising 
• Overdosing 
• Burning  

These behaviours may be as a solution to overwhelming emotions, feeling distressed or a lack of feeling emotions. Self-harm usually starts in adolescence. It is important to remember that these behaviours carry a risk of deliberate or accidental suicide.   

Self-harm does not only occur in young people, but can be more difficult to recognise in younger children.

Self-harm happens more often in people who have:

• Family members who have self-harmed.
• Lived through negative or difficult experiences.

This can then combine with different stressful events or situations.

Common internal stresses (handling feelings):

• A lack of feelings (feeling numb or empty).
• Too many (distressing) feelings like anger, anxiety or depression.

Common external stressors can arise from: 

• School (teachers, school work, peers).
• Relationships (friends, parents, partners, brothers/sisters).
• Home (dealing with parents, divorce, separation, living in foster care or a group home.

Making changes to the way we do things is very difficult, but we need to do something to break out of the rut. Changes will not happen overnight, so it is important to keep trying. This is the first step to feeling better.

Self-harming might make you feel better immediately, but the distressing emotions can build. To deal with self-harming behaviours, you might need to talk about the thoughts, feelings, and situations that make you want to self-harm. Learning to cope with difficult feelings in less harmful ways will only make you stronger. 

A mental health professional may help you to:

Find triggers for self-harming behaviours.

 Regulate and control emotions.

Improve problem-solving skills.

Change unhealthy thought processes.

 Communicate without self-harming.

Talking to a psychologist can be helpful to figure out why you self-harm. It can also help find other, possibly less harmful, ways to cope with the distressing feelings you are trying to express, control or relieve. 

 Spot Warning Signs: Try and notice any warning signs when you begin to struggle with a problem. Does it include certain thoughts, feelings, or behaviours? Write them down and talk to someone about them.

Coping Skills: What alternatives could you try when you want to take your mind off the problem you are facing? Try and weigh up the pros and cons of using coping skills. If you cannot think of coping skills, here are some options:

• Practice a hobby.
• Go for a walk or engage in a sport.
• Listen to your favourite music.
• Practice a new skill.
• Draw or paint.
• Write a journal.
• Practice relaxation.
• Find alternatives - hold an ice cube or practice distraction techniques.

Relaxation: Breathing, meditation, and mindfulness exercises are coping strategies known to help with impulse self-harm behaviours. There are many free apps available to guide relaxation exercises, such as Calm, or Childline have lots of ideas in their Calm zone. Here are some other ways to relax:

1. Imagine your Favourite Place - think of a place that makes you feel happy and calm. What can you see? Try and think of smells and sounds around you. Can you feel anything? Notice how good you feel when you are there.
2. Five Finger Breathing - open your hands wide and trace your fingers with your other hand. When your finger goes up take a deep breath in. When your finger goes down, take a deep breath out. Notice how taking five deep breaths feels in your body. 

Ask for help: If you feel unable to cope with the distressing emotions alone, try and talk to a family member or a trusted friend. They are there to support you. 

 Seek Help from Professionals: Seeking help from professionals is always a good idea when struggling with self-harm. If unable to wait until the therapeutic sessions, contact emergency services.