6 - 8 years

Each child will be different and may not present as their chronological age because of past experiences or additional needs. ⁽⁸⁾ Therefore, you may need to use language and resources from other age/stage sections of this toolkit.

• Children have more contact with large groups of people at school. They increasingly learn how they “should” behave (social rules).They learn that adults disapprove if they expose themselves in public and touch themselves or someone else. This makes them less likely to walk around in the nude in public and touch their genitals. 
• Exploring their own and other people’s bodies is expressed more in the context of playing at first openly but later often in secret, because they learn that being naked in public is not allowed.  
• Children are discovering their boundaries. They notice that saying certain words provokes a reaction in people around them. This is exciting and fun, so they repeat those same words.
• At this age children are very interested in reproduction and ask many questions, such as “where do children come from?” Most children start experiencing shyness in regard to their bodies and start do draw boundaries. 
• Children start to recognise their own gender; for most this means that they know that they are boys or girls. 
• They pick up messages from the world around them about “what a boy does” and “what a girl does” (gender stereotypes). 
• Children make friends with other children: of both sexes or sometimes just with other boys or girls (members of their own sex). Children of this age often associate friendship and liking someone with “being in love”. For instance, they often say that they are in love with their mother, teacher or rabbit. This usually has nothing to do with feelings of sexuality and desire. It is simply their way of saying that they are fond of someone. 
• From 8 years old some girls will be starting to experience emotional changes due to hormonal changes associated with puberty. For most children, emotional ups and downs caused by hormone changes are experienced up to 2 years before physical changes start. 

Gender stereotyping can limit children’s expectations for themselves and they need the adults in their lives to challenge this. It is important that caregivers help them learn that girls and boys are not limited by their gender. This can be done as part of day to day care by encouraging children to play with a range of toys, dressing up outfits etc and sharing stories about people that challenge gender stereotypes.

This video shows the impact of gender stereotypes on children’s ideas - Redraw the Balance (duration 2 minutes 07):

This story book - William's Doll by Charlotte Zolotow - is about a boy who wants a doll (duration 5 minutes 59):

All children in Scotland should be getting Relationships Sexual Health and Parenthood (RSHP) lessons at school as part of the Health and Wellbeing curriculum. Individual schools can choose what resources to use but most will now use rshp.scot, as it is the most up to date resource. All the content on this website is available for anyone to view and use. 

Children aged 6-8 years old are usually in P2, P3 or P4, which is called First level.

This link takes you to an overview of what children are learning at school and what you can do in the home setting to back this up. First Level – RSHP.

All children need help from adults to distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate behaviour. Past trauma may mean that a child or young person displays inappropriate and sometimes sexualised behaviour. Be clear with everyone in the house or care setting about what is acceptable and about the need for personal privacy. ⁽⁸⁾

• Children need to be taught the accurate names for the private parts of their body – penis or vulva and bottom. They may use a range of other words e.g. flower, wee man etc. It’s ok if they use these, as long as they are also taught the correct words. 
• Children will need to be reminded that they don’t touch the private parts of their body in public. (e.g. in school, when they are tired!) They should not look at or touch someone else’s private parts and no-one should touch theirs. 
• Even though children are using the bathroom by themselves at home and at school, they will still need some guidance/reinforcement about privacy and hygiene – shutting the door of the bathroom or cubicle, flushing the toilet, making sure pants, tights, trousers are pulled up before leaving the cubicle etc. If boys haven’t used urinals before starting school, they will need help to learn or be encouraged to use a cubicle. 
• Staff and carers should demonstrate that they respect children's right to ownership/ autonomy of their body. As with teaching social rules, this can done as part of everyday situations, for example, saying goodbye, asking ‘would you like a hug?’ instead of automatically hugging them.  
• Children need adults to help them learn how to assert and articulate their right ​to bodily autonomy. For example, if another child picks them up or hugs them without asking, the adult can intervene: ‘I’m not sure that x wanted to be picked up/a hug. You need to ask them first’. This short video explains it well - Consent for kids (duration 2 minutes 43):

Girls who are taller or heavier than their peers are more likely to start puberty earlier than their peers. This can be as early as 8 years old with emotional ups and downs caused by hormone changes. For most children the emotional changes start to happen 1-2 years before any physical changes.

If you look after a girl who is experiencing this, she will need help to understand what is happening alongside reassurance that it is normal. Here is a short video to help discussion (duration 1 minute 46):

This tool has been developed by Stop it Now for parents, but is suitable for carers and staff to use. It describes behaviours that are developmentally expected and behaviours that are not healthy or safe.

Carers who are concerned about a child’s behaviour should share their concerns with the team around the child as a first action.

Staff should refer to their locality guidance and protocols.

Parents Protect: Helping you understand the sexual development of children aged 5-11