This content is designed for the participants of the GGC Pain Management Programme.

Hello, my name is Ashley. I am one of the Psychologists at the PMP. Today I’m going talk about the role of communication in your pain management. Because pain impacts your life significantly, it also has an impact on those around you. Miscommunication and misunderstandings can be common so we will look into why this is and be curious about how we can address this

Here are some quotes that might resonate with you, I don’t like to say no but I pay for it the next day, sometimes I just want to be on my own without being asked what’s wrong, I don’t like asking for help, they don’t understand, people think I’m making it up. Sound familiar? It can be difficult to know how to address these things, before we explore how to improve our communication skills, lets understand why communication is important.

The ability to communicate our needs to our close family and friends is vital for the maintenance of a good support system. You may find yourself frustrated, angry or sad when this is lacking. The ability to communicate our needs with employers and colleagues is really important if we work, have pain, or any other chronic health conditions. Many people work, volunteer or may wish to work again in the future so an open and honest conversation around pain can really help this process. The ability to generally communicate our needs promotes a positive wellbeing and better quality of life, starting those difficult conversations, recognising and voicing needs and active listening all help with this.

We communicate everyday with the world whether we want to or not, that is because communication can be both verbal and non-verbal. Naturally verbal communication is speech. We chose the words we articulate and we often have ideas about what we want to say to others. Some things stop us communicating freely, such as not wanting to worry people or burden them as well as not feeling heard in the past can influence how we verbally communicate, often leading us to not say much at all. With verbal communication it can be difficult for some to be clear on what we need, as many do not wish to appear demanding or maybe lack the confidence to share. Non-verbal communication accounts for approximately 80% of our communication with others, this means that others will observe these things without being directly told, sometimes this is referred to as reading between the lines - things such as tone, sighs, eye rolls, more pain specific things such as going to lay down, rubbing or holding a specific area, withdrawal and fighting or shifting position. Its helpful for those around you to know what you need during these times. Those around us are not mind readers, so communicating with them your needs is vital, how would you like those around you to respond to your pain experiences, knowing when to offer you support and when leave you be. This may be different for different individuals in your life

So lets explore some of those people you may have in your life, these are four common reactions we hear when talking to people with pain. The bubble wrap person, overprotective, highly sympathetic and urges you not to push yourself, this can be very helpful, especially on difficult pain days and flare ups, however, on a daily basis, this can limit your motivation for improvement when it comes to self-management, The know it all, controlling with a my way or the highway attitude, a tough love approach. This can be useful as we all need a bit of a push sometimes, this person can give us that nudge to get us moving. Of course, they can easily overdo this and we can feel nagged or bullied into things. The invisible person, absent, avoidant, doesn’t acknowledge your pain, expects everything to be normal. This is generally unhelpful as dealing with pain is difficult enough as it is, however it is worth considering and being curious about the reasoning for their behaviour. Feelings of helplessness, guilt and lack of confidence in their ability and understanding could be a contributing factor to this reaction as those alongside us suffer with us. Lastly is the one upper the active listener that devalues your pain with a it could be worse kind of attitude. It is important to feel heard and this person provides this, yet it is tarnished when your experience is devalued, your pain experience is unique and important and you live your life in reference to your own experiences, not that of other people. The it could be worse attitude can help you recognise those things you are grateful for, yet it is unhelpful as a life mantra for pain management.

Summary slide.
To summarise, communication is important for many reasons, it helps us express our needs to those around us and promotes a good support system. Communication comes in all shapes and sizes, so we need to be mindful of not only what we say, but others ways we are communicating with those around us. There are many people in your life, and how you may approach communicating with them may be different depending on who you speak to, so try to keep this is mind when taking steps to opening up new lines of communication.

Now that you have a bit of insight into why communication is important we ask that you complete the worksheet, reflecting on how these areas apply to you. And in the next video we will discuss how to approach having these difficult conversations in a helpful way.

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Return to preparation for session 9