Video script: thinking about our thinking, part 4

This content is designed for the participants of the GGC Pain Management Programme.

Thinking about our thinking, part 4: thinking traps

Welcome to the next part of our section on thinking. In this video we are going to focus on some of the thinking habits we can fall into.

One of the previous tasks was to notice what habits you are in with your own thinking. Can you remember what you wrote down. Pause the video and flick to exercise 2 on the thinking worksheet.

Maybe you wrote down that you are often hard on yourself, or that you worry about the worst case scenario. We are going to spend some time just now focussing on some common thinking habits we can fall into. Some of them may feel quite familiar to you. I know some feel very familiar to me.

So some of the habits we can be in with our thinking- the first one we have here is;
ALL OR NOTHING THINKING

This is where things are only ever seen as black or white and there are no shades of grey. One mistake is thought of as total failure. Everything has to be perfect or not at all. People are good or bad, clever or stupid. If I can’t do it all then it is not worth doing at all.

OVERGENERALISATION

Here, one unfortunate event leads to the assumption that it will happen every time. However, realistically there is no justification for seeing one instance as proving a rule.

For example:
Nothing ever goes right for me (when one small misfortune has happened).

JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS

Here the person is completely convinced that something is true without looking at all the evidence.
For example:
I must be boring, because my friend cut our telephone conversation short.
I am not able to exercise anymore, because my pain flared up after doing the stretches with the physio last week.

DOUBLE-STANDARDS

Here the person expects a higher standard from him/herself than they would from anyone else. They will be more forgiving with others in the same situation than they are with themselves.

For example:
I should have pushed myself harder to do the things I had planned (ignoring that some pressing matter arose you couldn’t plan for, but had to deal with). At the same time you praise a friend for having managed to do just a few of the things he’d planned to do in similar circumstances.

I have let me family down by leaving the party early when also understanding that someone else needed to leave as they’ve been struggling with their health recently.

PREDICTING THE FUTURE

Here the person thinks that they know what will happen, without questioning their prediction, assuming their thought is the only possible thing that can happen.

For example:
If I go to the party where I don’t know anyone, nobody will talk to me.
I will never have a good day again.

MIND READING

Making instant judgements about what you think other people are thinking or feeling when there is no evidence – it just seems right. The person may constantly expect negative evaluation from others. This often involves imagining that other people think or feel the same way that they do about things.

He thinks I am stupid (when someone has asked if they can help you to do something)
I can tell by the way they are looking at me that they don’t believe me

UNFAIR COMPARISONS

We tend to compare ourselves with ideals – ourselves 20 years ago, our friend without chronic health problems etc, instead of with a fairer comparison, such as ourselves last week, month, year etc.

PERSONALISATION

This is the tendency to relate everything that is happening around you to yourself. Everything that goes wrong you attribute to yourself. It can often lead to guilty or anxious feelings. You continually make comparisons between yourself and other people. This also includes assuming responsibility for events beyond your control.

For example:
Two people laughed when I walked in the room. They were probably commenting to each other on my appearance.

Problems at home are all my fault.

EMOTIONAL REASONING

This involves taking your feelings as facts.

For example:
I feel afraid so there must be some real danger.

SHOULD STATEMENTS

Life is often based on high or unrealistic expectations, we often use words like should, ought to, must, must not.

I am not working so I should do all of the housework.

My friends should understand how much pain I am in.

I must not let other people down.

MENTAL FILTER

There is a link between our emotions and our memories - when we feel a certain way, our mind brings up memories of times where we have felt a similar emotion. So if we are angry, we can easily remember other times where we have felt angry about the same thing, leading us to think "this always happens" or "my life is all bad".

I could not play with my son yesterday or today therefore I am a terrible parent.

I did not get invited to the last night out, I am left out of everything now.

IGNORING THE POSITIVE OR EMPHASISING THE NEGATIVE

I had a great day out but it doesn’t matter because I will be in agony tomorrow.

Remembering the one piece of criticism and forgetting the compliments.

What we have to remember is that our brain is trying to help us by creating these short cuts, but really, it is not that helpful.

Here is a quote we feel is a good reminder that we cannot always trust our thoughts.

I used to think the human brain was the most wonderful organ in the body. Then I realised who was telling me this.

We cannot always trust our thoughts.

On the worksheet, take a moment to read over the list of thinking habits and mark the ones you notice being a frequent habit for you.

Thoughts are not always facts, you could think that grass is blue, you could even imagine it, draw it, say it loud, however it is not a fact.

It is very useful to remember that our thoughts are often biased or distorted in some way.

However recognising those habits in our thinking can help us to understand how it influences how we feel and our behaviour and start to make changes to it.

End of video script

Return to preparation for session 6