Preparing a memory box and supporting memory making activities

IN PROCURATOR FISCAL (PF) CASES, STAFF MUST REFER TO BGH SUDiC Guideline

All bereaved families of Children and Young People (including Babies) should be offered a white Memory Box. Where parents are separated then a Memory box should be offered to both parents.

Where to find Memory Box and supplies:

• All items are stored in Ward 15 Toy Cupboard (Ambulatory Care)
• Supplies can be found in clear labelled boxes on shelf.

Boxes will be made up and ready to use with the family - Please follow guidance below:

The white memory box should contain the following staff should not remove any items from the list:

• White tissue paper
• White memory book
• Tea light holder and candle in an organza bag
• X3 wooden stars with ribbon
• Keepsake key ring (each parent/guardian should receive a key ring)**
• Small wooden box with white organza bag (for lock of hair)**
• X2 Small soft Teddy.**
• Forget Me Not Seeds and pin x 2 in labelled box.
• Voucher from Anthony Mundell Memorial Fund
• Voucher from JAK’s Den
• Voucher from Forget Me Not and information leaflet
• All children to be given blanket from Project Linus

(Please note – kits for completing hand and foot prints will be stored in a separated box clearly labelled)**

PLEASE NOTE: Babies under the age of 1 year: Bereaved families should be offered a ‘Held in our Hearts’ bag along with a memory box. Staff must not remove any items from ‘held in hearts’ bag.

**In PF Cases these items CANNOT be completed until after the Post Mortem (PM) refer to Section 2 of this procedure for more detailed guidance

N/B:**

• All Unexpected Deaths need to be discussed with Procurator Fiscal (PF) and a decision will be made if the child requires a PF Post Mortem or not.
• If the decision is made that it is not a PF case and discussions have been had, then memory making ** CAN go ahead.
• If the decision is made that it is a PF case, then memory making ** CAN NOT go ahead unless otherwise advised by PF. (Memory making can be discussed with PF Mortuary Staff/Funeral Director)
• If a hospital PM RHCYP has been requested and for some reason memory making has not taken place prior to transfer i.e. hand and foot prints/lock of hair. This can be arranged via the mortuary staff after PM in RHCYP.
  In this case the memory making items MUST be sent with the child – (hand and footprint pack and wooden box in organza bag for lock of hair). Please put these into a large envelope for the attention of the Mortuary Staff to complete after PM. There should also be a completed Memory Making Request Form (see attachment below) within this envelope with child and family’s details and verbal consent for this to be done.
• Specific guidance around Funeral Directors: All other keepsakes may be able to be completed by the Funeral Directors. However Staff MUST discuss this with the Funeral Directors prior to child transferring into their care as this may not be possible due their individual policy.
• Where parents are separated then keepsakes should be offered to both parents.
• Ailie Ramage & Leanne Inglis, Staff Nurses from ward 15 can be contacted for advice and support.

1. Keepsake Keyrings

• These MUST be given prior to deceased child and bereaved parents/carers leaving the hospital or care setting
• Staff to explain that small heart/s can be placed into the child’s hand or blanket and that the metal in the heart is crematorium safe (a small bit of dressing tape can be used to hold in position)
• Parents keep the keyring part
• Staff to support parents to do this if they wish.
• In PF Cases- advise parents that this can be done after PM by the Funeral Director. Staff MUST Check with Funeral Directors first.

2. Lock of Hair

• Staff to ask parents if they wish for a lock of hair to be taken (Some families may NOT wish this due to cultural/ religious beliefs)
• Ask family if they wish to cut the lock of hair themselves and provide support to do this.
• If family, choose for staff member to cut hair - please check with parents where they would like the lock/s of hair to be taken from. Ensure to check how many locks of hair parents wish to have.
• Hair can then be put into wooden box and then the box placed into the organza bag – care should be taken to make it look presentable)
• In PF Cases - advise parents that this can be done after PM by the Funeral Director and staff MUST Check with Funeral Directors first.

3. Taking Hand and Foot prints

• Follow instructions on pack of inkless wipes
• Ensure to take prints of BOTH hands/feet where possible
• Ensure prints are spaced out nicely and evenly e.g. 2 hands together and 2 feet together
• Avoid cutting round hands and feet individually! Sets of hand prints and foot prints should always be kept together unless requested otherwise by family.
• Additional prints of hands and feet can be taken separately using spare inkless wipe kits
• The only purpose for cutting with guillotine is to ensure prints are presentable and/or for mounting onto background card.
• Ask family if they would like to assist
• In PF Cases - Advise family that this can be done by Mortuary Staff after PM

5. Small Soft Toy

• Explain to family that one Soft Toy remains with the child and the other remains with the family.
  (where parents are separated, please ensure both parents receive a soft toy).
• IN PF cases, the soft toy can remain with the child (staff must check first with the Police Scotland) although parents may wish to keep hold of this themselves until the child is transferred into the care of the funeral directors Staff MUST Check with Funeral Directors first.
• If the soft toy does go with child to the mortuary, then this must be recorded in the demise register.

• All keepsakes should be placed carefully into the memory box.
• The memory box should be carefully placed into the hessian bag provided and returned to the family ideally before they leave the hospital.

Each sibling should receive a sibling bag and where appropriate, the siblings should be involved in any memory making activities [this should be discussed the parents]

Where to find the Sibling bags

Readymade sibling’s bags are available in Ward 15 Toy Cupboard (Ambulatory Care). The Sibling Bag should contain the following keepsake items; Staff must not remove any items from this bag!

Purple Cotton bag containing:

• White memory book
• Blank Card to write message
• A pack of colouring in pencils
• Wooden star with twine.
• Information card to tell siblings how they can make a memory box of their own
• Small Soft Toy

Sudden unexpected death in children (SUDiC) guideline