Intrusive thoughts come to everyone at some point in their life. They may be distressing, senseless, unwanted thoughts, images or urges that suddenly pop into your mind.
Examples include:
Worries and self-doubt: ‘What if my baby stopped breathing?’
Thoughts: ‘I must wash my hands five times before I cook’, ‘The baby’s milk has germs in it’, ‘Everything in the cupboard must be arranged neatly before I go to bed.’
During pregnancy or after the baby has been born parents may have upsetting, intrusive thoughts about the baby. Sometimes they are about harm coming to the baby. These cause a lot of distress and often make parents question their ability to be a good parent.
Although these thoughts tend to reduce naturally over time, they can be more common when new parents are under stress and have little support.
What can help?
- Remember no one can fully control their thoughts.
- Try not to pay too much attention to the thoughts that pop into your mind. Almost everyone has these upsetting, meaningless thoughts at some point in their life.
- Remember having thoughts is not the same as doing something. Try not to confuse thoughts with actions.
When to seek help
Many new parents have intrusive thoughts which tend to disappear naturally over time. But sometimes these thoughts are the symptom of a mental health condition that needs professional treatment, for example:
- depression
- obsessive compulsive disorder
- postpartum (puerperal) psychosis.
In these situations the thoughts tend to happen more often, cause intense distress, and sometimes interfere with being able to look after your baby. If you are concerned it is essential to seek professional help as soon as possible.
If you need to talk to someone immediately, you can call:
- your GP, health visitor or mental health professional
- the mental health crisis line, SANEline, tel: 0300 304 7000, open 4pm to 10pm every day.
If you feel you are struggling to look after your child, you can contact Parentline Scotland.