2. Radical Acceptance

Radical Acceptance: 

This is how Marsha Linehan, who founded Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, describes it: 

Radical Acceptance is letting go of fighting reality. The term “radical” means to imply that the acceptance has to come from deep within and has to be complete. Acceptance is the only way out of hell. It is the way to turn suffering that cannot be tolerated into pain that can be tolerated. Pain is part of living; it can be emotional and it can be physical. Pain is nature’s way of signalling that something is wrong, or that something needs to be done (Bareiss, 2020). 

• The pain of a hand on a hot stove causes a person to move her hand quickly. People without the sensation of pain are in deep trouble. 
   

• The pain of grief causes people to reach out for others who are lost. Without it there would probably be no societies or cultures. No one would look after those who are sick, would search for loved ones who are lost, or would stay with people who are difficult at times. 
   
• Pain of fear makes people avoid what is dangerous. 
   
• Pain of anger makes people overcome obstacles. 

Suffering is pain plus non-acceptance of pain. Suffering comes when people are unable or refuse to accept pain. Suffering comes when people cling to getting what they want, refusing to accept what they have. Suffering comes when people resist reality as it is at the moment. Pain can be difficult or almost impossible to bear, but suffering is even more difficult. Refusal to accept reality and the suffering that goes along with it can interfere with reducing pain. It is like a cloud that surrounds pain, interfering with the ability to see it clearly. Radical acceptance transforms suffering to pain. 

From “Skills Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder”, Marsha Linehan, Guilford Press, 1993