Views and experiences of staff and carers

For Staff and Carers Views and Experiences see final report (13 pages)

Bernadette and Steven

They have been foster carers for 14 years and have looked after 17 children in that time. They have 4 birth children.

Here are their 10 top tips for talking about sexual health and relationships:

1. Start talking about this as early as you can and keep going as they grow up. If you feel embarrassed, fake confidence even if you don’t feel it.

2. Don’t have a ‘sit down’ talk. Side by side chats, walking, or in the car works better.

3. Keep all discussion casual, using the same tone and approach you would use for other topics of discussion.

4. You can give them facts but you need to leave space for the child’s views to be heard, even if you don’t agree with them

5. Be tuned in to conversation starters e.g. something on the TV, and ask them what they think about what they’ve seen/heard.

6. Talk about what’s real and what’s fake, especially online content. Acknowledge the pressure on young people now to behave in the way they see things online. Talk about the effect on mental wellbeing.

7. Encourage their critical thinking and be honest with them. Remember that they still need your guidance when they are older teenagers.

8. Remember to tell them sex is supposed to be fun and involve affection and emotions.

9. Always use language that leaves the possibility for same sex relationships e.g. ‘If you ever have a boyfriend or girlfriend…’

10. Discuss with children who the other trusted adults are in their lives who they can talk to if they ever feel they can’t talk to you.

Bonus tip - Attend training on sexual health and relationships!!